Patty Oat, Mystic Nice Girl

Patty Oat

I was walking across the parking lot in the Groton shopper’s mart on a very hot summer’s day, when I met Nancy Hughes, my first nice girl. I had actually met her once, at a historical society lunch in North Stonington, but had never really talked to her, and didn’t even remember her name. We recognized each other as our paths crossed, and she stopped to say hello, and ask how I was.

At first I said things were OK- but she seemed so nice that I decided I could tell her what I was really feeling, namely that I was so discouraged at how things were working out here,  that I was seriously thinking of moving back to Farmington, where I had lived  for over thirty years.

I went to my first pot luck soon afterwards at Cindy Mo’s house. Cindy was kind and welcoming as only Cindy Mo can be. I had never been to any gathering that was so simple and straightforward in its objectives. There was no agenda, no platform to accept or reject. I sensed that this would be a place where I could make friends.  I didn’t expect it to happen immediately, but I went into the kitchen, introduced myself to Ann Somers, and that was the beginning of so many new and treasured friendships.

As we can see, in the political landscape of  2018, how negativity spreads so easily, it is comforting to see that kindness can also spread, one nice girl at a time.

Nancy said, “You know, there is this group you might want to try, called the nice girls.  I haven’t actually been to a meeting yet, but the women who invited me are really nice.”  

The nice girls, simply by being nice, changed my life. Suddenly I had friends to go to the movies with, or kayak with, or walk with. The basic rules of the nice girls- to be nice, and to close the pot luck down at 8 pm work for almost any situation. 

ABOUT PATTY OAT

I grew up in Noank, lived in Farmington for 30 years, and now am back in Noank. I have 5 children and 4 grandchildren. No one lives on the east coast, so I travel a lot more than I would like to. I used to teach English as a Second Language. Now I spend a lot of time researching people who lived in New London County during the American Revolution. I wish I liked to exercise and cook more than I do. One of these days I will manage to make it to one of the Friday morning Mystic walks. And someday, too, I might break my record and bring something homemade to A Nice Girls potluck.

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